i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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