I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
