meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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