Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
