There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
