Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So apparently I’m into choking now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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