I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize