I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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