I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
