Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
