In the future we'll all be gay
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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