Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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