I cannot find my penis.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
