I'm jealous of your bromance
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
