Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize