That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
