oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
