I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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