We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
