i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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