I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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