I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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