Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
one two three fourrrrnication!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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