Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
