i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
