honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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