Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
where are my eyebrows?
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