The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
