I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
