you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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