Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
