he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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