Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
