I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
