I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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