We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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