i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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