I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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