i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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