You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize