Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
