you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
