Pappa wants mamma naked
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize