In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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