Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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