who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
