This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
