You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
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No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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