Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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