I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
