Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
