I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
