I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
