i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
