I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
