Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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