Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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