Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
