So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
